The Lost Sunshine

This may be a story or you can took it more than a story

Not long before.But a few years ago she started her first letter to me with a single sentence and within months the size of letters she was usually sending to me increased to kilo bytes.Atlast I stored it in a compact disc and now she lives in that compact disc and in my memories. In the last days, when I was overcoming my fascination about a different kind of relation, I overjoyed about my power of my mind and heart. But years later after my long longings and lonliness through the ages and places, I found out that I missed one of the most valuable place of one's existence "in other's heart". But when I realized, the time had gone so far that I couldn't take it back or ask for any kind of forgiveness.

Mistakes happened to each and every human being. But I might be the only one not wanted to accept that and be proud of that mistake. Whatever time I had shown my mental sturdiness to others;inside I was always very weak, more than a girl. For silly silly things I wet my pillows for countless nights.Certain times in our life we were become less confident to accept or take some thing. She was also a same kind of moment in my life were I was less confident.

We travelled together a lot, talked a lot, exchanged views and mails a lot. But in a crucial moment I run away from her. She was some kind of consoling hand in the time of my failures. She made me to write stories and poems. She made me to see the world and the peoples with its ultimate serenity and colour. But with moments I loosed everything in days.I was some kind of looser on that days. I accepted my failures without any foughtback.

I still remebers the moment I touched her for the first time, for helping her to enter the train from the non-platform side.Usually in my two hours train journey in most of the weekends, 45-50 minutes with her and next half with her memories. In the last weekend, after a long two years, when I travelled in the same train from the same station to my usual place I found I am all alone with full of unknown crowd,impatience, sweat and all.When I got my seat, I was so tired and slept. I missed to see once again her usual station and the river we both were admiring.

We were silent when we together, but talked a lot through our letters. Now letters are the only memories I have about her. I know where she is now and what she is doing and may she also know the same about me. But we were a distance apart more than two galaxies. My eyes still wander through the road that getting to her home, but scared to have an eye contact. Still my heart ask for a moment of my Miss Sunshine's.

As one of my friend's comment," There will be thousands of people that you can love, but there will be a few available who gives you a place in their heart. If you have a life ,sacrifice your life to them.That is the meaning of life"